This semester has been pretty full on for me... Since week 2, there has been assignments and quizzes each week... I am taking 3 maths units and one biology unit as my elective. Maths is designed to have assessments each week so I guess I should have expected that. But to be honest, I have no complains about it! I truly enjoyed my the whole journey of being so busy. You know why? Because Jesus was with me all the way through.
I have always been the kind of student that would stress about every single detail. If I don't get an assignment done way before the due date and am not organised about it, I would freak out. If I wasn't performing well in class tests, I would stress myself up and try so hard to push through... All these eventually would lead to me crying and just wanting to give up.
But this time round, it was really different.
God constantly reminded me about Phillippians 4:13 - I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength. And that means anything and everything. I used to read this verse so many times as a child but never truly understood the intensity and seriousness of how Jesus is about this promise.
Until this year when He revealed himself to me. You know how everyone says you define yourself, don't let anyone else define you and you are the creator of your own destiny? I think Jesus defines who I am. When I look at myself I don't want to see myself, I want to see Jesus in me. Because, I am nothing without him. Before I realised who He really was, I found myself trying so hard to prove myself to others and even to myself. There was no freedom. I was in this dark room just trying so hard to untie knots from my hand and get out of that room. I found myself constantly trying to meet people's expectation, worrying abut how they perceive me.
But, now I realised that I don't need to prove how good I am... Jesus doesn't need that.. All he wants is for me to believe that He died on the cross for my sins and rose again to give us life. He wants us to know that we are free from darkness, self-condemnation, and even the need to be of a certain level. Jesus doesn't look for levels. He loves us. Even if we don't know him or don't accept him. You and I will always be on His mind. One may ask, why would He love me if I don't love Him? But that's what makes Him God.... His unconditional love... We don't need to earn His love. He gave it for free and He wants us to feely receive it.. He does not want us to go around thinking that we must be of a certain good to receive it. Luke 19:10 - Jesus came to seek and save the lost. He came for us sinners. He came for you. There is freedom in Jesus.. I didn't know that till March this year. But know I know and I never want to go back...
Don't let other people define who you are, but let Jesus be the definition of your life.. It will be one awesome ride.. Now, don't get me wrong.. It's not going to be this smooth sailing life of happiness and joy all the time. But I can assure you, that in those times of trouble and anguish, Jesus will make it beautiful. Take that leap of faith. You will not regret it. Been there and still going through it. It is one awesome journey.
God bless. Have an awesome weekend.